Quick Tips for Building Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Self-esteem plays a very important role in establishing a successful and happy life. A person can be blessed with intelligence and talent but the lack of self-esteem can be a hindrance in doing well in just about anything.
It has been proven that the early years of a child life is when they are most impressionable, they notice and copy everything they see or hear. Parents should then take advantage of this by ensuring that the child learns all the necessary social skills they need to be well-rounded individuals. At the same time, building their self-esteem this early will ensure this.
Here are quick tips on how to nurture young children’s self-esteem:
Show love and affection. We all love our children, no doubt. Sometimes though we forget to show how much we love them. This is necessary as it reassures them that they are important and very much appreciated.
Compliment them. Don’t forget to acknowledge their every accomplishment, no matter how small. Simple compliments like “You did great,” “I am so proud of you” or even “That was a good try” will go a long way in a young child’s mind and will help build up their self-esteem. Make sure though that each compliment is convincing and not over the top like “You are the smartest little boy in the whole world” as this can result in an inflated ego. Instead, you can say. “You are the smartest 8-year-old boy I know.”
Set goals for your child. One way parents teach young children to be independent is by making them follow a simple chore chart this can be the start of goal setting as well. It usually consists of attainable, age appropriate daily activities like fixing the bed, brushing their teeth after meals and packing away after playing. When the children are able to complete their task and realize that they were able to achieve their goal, they feel good about themselves. When they hear you compliment them and see how proud you are of them, it strengthens their self-esteem. Slowly incorporate new and harder things to their goals after a certain period, and this will help them believe that they can take on bigger responsibilities as long as they set their minds to it.
Criticize the action, not the person. We must be conscious of what we say to children as they always take it to heart. While we still have to reprimand them for doing or saying things they are not supposed to, we must choose the words we use carefully so that they understand that they did something wrong without hurting them unnecessarily.
Instead of saying, “You were a bad boy” try saying “That was not a very nice thing to do, I know you didn’t mean it, so I hope you don’t do it again.”
Validate your child’s feelings. They will experience suffering a blow to their self-esteem at least once, and there really isn’t anything we can do to stop that. What we can do, however, is to validate their feelings and make sure they recover from the blow/s. Talk to them and let them know that you understand that “what your classmate said was not nice and it hurt your feelings a lot” or “it hurts to know that not everyone wants to be your friend.” Then explain to them that it may be possible that the classmate only said those things out of frustration and without thinking or point out that though we cannot please everybody, there are a lot of other people who like him and are happy to be his friends.
Be proud of your child. Always take time to remind them of how proud you are of them. Their accomplishments may seem small at times, but we must not forget that they are children and these are big ones for them. Let them hear you talk about how much you love them and how proud you are of their achievements in front of their teachers and friends or other people they love.
Never to compare. This is a common mistake for a lot of parents as it is really easy to fall into, but we must not compare our children to each other or their friends. It is not fair, and it isn’t something we like done to ourselves as well. When a comparison has been carelessly made by others, reassure our children that there are other things that though others may be better than them at some things, there are definitely other things that excel in and make them special and unique. Try to explain why the comparison was made and why it should not make them feel bad about themselves.
It takes a village. For anything to fully develop, there has to be consistency. These positive reinforcements cannot only be learned or practiced at home; it should be carried out wherever they go. Enlist the help of those who spend time with your children on a regular basis. Let grandpa and grandma, their aunts and uncles, the babysitter, and their teachers know how of your children’s strengths and how you are nurturing them. Inform them of the do’s and don’ts so that they can apply these as well.
Tend to your own self-esteem. Be a good example as you are the ones your children look up to the most. Make sure that your children know that you are a happy, positive individual. Show them that you value yourself and that you are constantly working on improving yourself to become a better person.
