Does Your Child Have Self Discipline?
We’re pretty sure you can relate to those parents you see out in restaurants with their young children reminding them to sit up straight and eat properly. How about those parents in shopping centres who are constantly telling their children not to run or scream. Then there are those parents who you often hear being upset with their children for not playing fairly or sharing their toys. Oh, and let’s not forget those parents who get interrupted by their children when talking to someone else. All too familiar, right?
Without a doubt, disciplining children is one of the major challenges of parenting. Young children can’t help it as they are naturally impulsive. That is why we need all the help we can get in this department, whether we like to admit it or not. Especially since we want them to be able to exercise discipline when we are not around because a child who knows how to practice self-discipline will be able to take on different challenges. A child who does the right thing even when no one is looking will certainly do well in life.
Here are some ways we can help our children develop self-discipline:
Teach children to come when they are called. This is probably the most basic and the earliest things that a child should learn. Toddlers should master this as soon as they start walking or talking. What happens though, is that when children get pre-occupied with other things such as toys or gadgets, they tend to ignore the call because they do not want to stop what they are doing. Teach your children to learn how to distinguish what is more important and to learn how to stop what they are currently doing in order to attend to the more important matter.
Teach children to respond positively to correction. A lot of children don’t take corrections very well. Most children do not like being corrected at all, and often react negatively. Let them know that this is never acceptable and that we will always be faced with a situation wherein we will have to do things we may not like and as long as it is not something that is bad or will cause harm to others then we will have to do it. They must learn how to accept these things and do it with a good attitude. This will require a certain level of self-discipline from them and may be difficult to do, but it is one thing that will help them throughout life.
A number of social skills require self-control. D iscipline is the foundation for a lot of social skills, that is why it is important for young children to master this early on. Acknowledge your children’s efforts when they show improvement and in the same breath, let them know which areas still need some work. Observe your children to find out what kind of approach works best for them. Each one is different, so what might work for one child may not always work for the others.
Encourage children to take on activities which build self-discipline. Engage your children to take up an after school or weekend activities that can help you. Sports or music lessons, an
easy, age-appropriate job or chore often helps a lot. Martial Arts has become the smart choice for most parents as they see the results quickly and have noted how much the sport has helped their children in more ways than they ever expected.
Associate things to self-discipline whenever possible. W hen your child comes home from school with a good grade or praises from his or her teacher, talk about how self-discipline played a part in that. Explain how chores are given not only to get the task done but mainly to develop responsibility and build self-discipline. “I know how hard it is to get up early on weekends, but you still do so to attend your martial arts class. That shows a lot of self-discipline, and I am proud of you for that.” or “I know that staying in bed and playing with your iPad seems like a better thing to do but thank you for choosing to complete your chores instead.”
Use bedtime to teach self-discipline. Raise your glass of wine if bedtime is a constant struggle. It is the end of the day, and you would think that children will be eager to go to sleep after a full day of activities, right? Yet, somehow, it still takes a lot to get them to go to bed and stay quietly in it until they fall asleep. Let this be a learning opportunity for children to exercise self-discipline. They should be able to get to bed at a certain time and fall asleep soon enough without any distractions and without needing mommy or daddy to check up on them every so often.
Morning routines, chores, and family schedules become opportunities for children to learn responsibility and self-discipline. When they complete their responsibilities well and on time, offer a simple reward or privilege. When they make their beds and keep their rooms clean for 7 days straight, they may deserve 30 minutes more of screen time on weekends. If they are able to do their homework well on their own, they may be given a chance to choose what they want to bring for lunch. Simple rewards like that can prove to be great motivators for young children.
As with everything else, be a good role model. Our children do notice everything we say and do, and unfortunately, they think that it is always right. Be careful when around them and when you do make a mistake, take the time to explain it to them so that they know not to imitate it.
We know that it can be tempting and is definitely easier to let children do what they want, especially when we are tired from working the whole day. It is important though that we exert extra effort to instill discipline in children early on because if not, things will only be more difficult.
Doing so will help parents nurture other social skills with less hassle and will also help ensure the child success as they grow up. It is hard work, but it will definitely be all worth it in the end.
